


Scared to be Happy

by outer_space_beech



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Sad, based off song, fight, galahad eggsy, lancelot roxy, sort of a breakup, why did i write something sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:16:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21681748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outer_space_beech/pseuds/outer_space_beech
Summary: Eggsy and Roxy have been together a few weeks before Eggsy starts to have doubts and the gravity of their careers sets in.Just a really short angsty one shot.
Relationships: Roxy Morton | Lancelot & Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	Scared to be Happy

**Author's Note:**

> Just a sad lil angst one shot thing that I thought of when listening to Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi, so I'd definitely recommend having that on in the background while reading if you can
> 
> Edit: over 3 months after uploading this I've just found out there is a song called Scared to be Happy by Navvy so who looks like a clown now (me) lol

Eggsy and Roxy were sat opposite each other at the dining table. Living in the mansion together had made them closer than Roxy ever expected, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She got to work and live with her best friend, but he was more than that now.

They sat at the dining table eating in silence, Eggsy being quiet and looking upset and hurt. Usually Roxy would try to ask what was wrong without being obvious, but today was different, she could tell this wasn’t just a mission gone wrong or some paperwork not done properly.

“We shouldn’t be together” He said suddenly, breaking the silence that Roxy would now rather have back.

“What?”

“We should break up”

Roxy sat in stunned silence for what felt like an eternity, everything between them was going perfectly, why did he want to break up.

“No” She said sternly, he was being ridiculous.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re being ridiculous”

“I-I’m not being ridiculous, I don’t want to be with you anymore” He was trying to convince Roxy as well as himself, she could tell, he was in pain.

“You are many things Eggsy, but I didn’t think a coward was one of them” She threw her cutlery on the plate to punctuate her sentence “You’re giving up on this because you’re scared, you’re afraid it will hurt you in the future”

“That’s not true” he sounded small and unconvincing.

“One day one of us will get badly injured, or worse, and guess what – it’ll hurt the other person. It will hurt whether we are together or not. You’re scared to have happiness before that time comes, knowing that it will all be taken away. I’m scared too, but I’m not so scared that I’d give up on making memories and attempting to have some kind of life outside of our job, and I wanted that life with you!”

There was a silence for a few moments, neither of them knowing how to follow that.

“I don’t love you anymore…” He sounds small again, Roxy can tell it’s a lie – he can lie to anyone except her.

“You and I say a lot of things to protect Kingsman and protect our lives, a lot of those things being lies – but I know you weren’t lying when you said you loved me, and I meant it when I said that I loved you back. Don’t try to hurt me like this, I still love you and I know that you still love me”

Another silence, Roxy was fighting for this relationship with all that she had in her, Eggsy was trying his best to keep distance and not let himself give in. He thought that bad things happening later would hurt less if they were distant, he convinced himself that was the right thing to do by Roxy.

“You’re upset because for once the posh girl doesn’t get everything she wants” That was a low blow and Eggsy isn’t proud of himself for it, he immediately regrets it when he sees Roxy’s face react.

“You’re right” She was more vulnerable now than ever “because I’ve only ever wanted two things in life. There’s only been two things that I’ve fought for – Kingsman, and you. I would say its unfair of you to say that, but I know you don’t mean it. You’re trying to hurt me enough to run away and never look back at you…”

“Eggsy, look me in the eye and say that you don’t love me and don’t want to be together, and mean it”

He couldn’t do it, he opened his mouth to say something and nothing came out. There weren’t words to describe how Eggsy was feeling, he didn’t want it to end like this. If he was being honest, he didn’t want it to end at all. He’d rather be washing dishes and laughing with her, planning what movie they would watch together, he’d rather think about holding her tight that night and doing his best to promise that everything would be okay.

But it wouldn’t be okay, he can’t promise her that he’ll always protect her, and he can’t promise that he will always be alright. Kingsman didn’t allow the luxury of promises to be safe. Eggsy had seen her in many situations, but right now was a look he’d never seen before – she was hurt deep, she was heartbroken he would even suggest they not be together. He felt the same, meaning he could not tell her that he didn’t love her – because he did, more than anything else – and he could not tell her he did want to be with her – because he wanted her more than he’s ever wanted anything – he would do anything for Roxy, but he couldn’t lie to her.

“That’s what I thought”

She got up from the table and walked towards her room, turning around to look at him before disappearing completely. Tears had already started falling down her face.

“Come and talk to me when you stop being scared of being happy”

She went into her room, promptly shutting and locking the door. Leaving Eggsy at the dining table, head in his hands thinking about the consequences of what he’d done tonight. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to fix it this time, this might have been it. She was right, he was a coward…

She’s always right…

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! <3
> 
> PS. Sorry if you're sad now :(


End file.
